


how to fall for a god

by ghostangel



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bride of the water god AU, M/M, Reverse Big Bang, jean!water god, jeremy!sacrifice, oof don't ask me, there is art for this!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:40:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23331043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostangel/pseuds/ghostangel
Summary: Drought is killing everything and everyone in Jeremy's village. Desperation quickly leads them to sacrificing Jeremy to the water god. But Jeremy is saved from the waves and he enters another world, the world of the gods. And then he meets Jean, the water god himself, and his life takes a very unexpected turn.BRIDE OF THE WATER GOD AU / AFTG REVERSE BIG BANG
Relationships: Jeremy Knox/Jean Moreau
Comments: 14
Kudos: 34
Collections: AFTG Reverse Big Bang 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the all for the game reverse big bang and I honestly loved it. The prompt belongs to the wonderful Deya and so does the amazing art of these lovely angsty boys. A special thank you goes to Ceriann for beta reading this mess and not tearing their eyes out when correcting my mistakes oof. 
> 
> Basically, this is a Bride of the Water God AU. Jean is cursed. Jeremy gets sacrificed. They fall in love. That's it. That's the plot.

Jeremy was alone. His hands were tied together behind his back and the rope was burning his skin. He was fairly sure that if someone untied him at that moment, his wrists would be slit and the blood would run down his arms and stain his clothes. 

He had no idea how to swim. One would expect him to be an excellent swimmer, growing up in a village next to the sea and all. But Jeremy had been avoiding water since he was 10 years old, same way the devil would avoid incense. He prefered spending his time in the fields. 

His boat was made of wood, the finest wood of the region. His father made it himself, with the help of the priest in the temple. Together they had carved dozens of symbols on it. On the center of each side they had carved a man; he was kneeling and his hands were outstretched towards the sky. He was pleading for rain, always pleading for rain. 

It had been one year since the drought started. The skies stopped crying, the fields slowly died. The water of the sea was full of salt and it killed the plants. They tried to desalinate it, but they couldn’t do it fast enough and the water wasn’t enough. They were dying; the people, the animals, the plants. All of them were starving. It was now winter and they still hadn’t seen a drop of water. They all dreamed of the day they would wake up and hear the sound of rain hitting their rooftops, the day they would be working in the fields and raindrops would stain their skin again. After one year everything had turned into dust.

This was their last hope. The water god was angry at them. No one knew why, but he was certainly punishing them for something. People visited the temple every day. They lit candles and offered gold. They organized celebrations and gave him the little food they had left. The rain never came. The priest told them about an old tradition. Once upon a time, there was a drought, pretty similar to this one. One day, a young girl was swimming near the port. The sea was calm, but suddenly, dark clouds appeared and the sun hid behind them, and waves rose swallowing the girl. They never saw her again, nor found her body. 

The rain arrived the next day. 

The people believed the god had taken her. After that, every thirty years they sacrificed someone. But after three generations or so, the tradition was forgotten and no one was sent to the god for over eighty years. And then, there was drought and death again. 

Jeremy was the obvious choice. He was young, healthy and beautiful, but above all, he was a nobody. His family wasn’t wealthy or powerful. He was just a farmer boy, who spent his days working. His skin and hair had the colour of dust, his face was constantly burned from the sun. 

There was no sun now. He was sailing further and further away from the shore. Clouds, dark and menacing, were gathering right on top of his boat. It almost felt like they were alive. Wind blew and Jeremy wondered what his parents were doing. 

The water rose so high, his boat was almost overturned a couple of times. He suddenly realized it was raining. He turned his head, but he couldn’t see the shore anymore. He started crying, his tears becoming one with the rain. 

Only then he realized there was a whirlpool right in front of him. He tried to move, untie himself. There was no point in that. He was moving closer and closer to it. Jeremy closed his eyes. He tried to imagine his home, his bed, the way the rays of the morning sun hit the kitchen table, his mother’s smile and the flowers in their garden. The sound of the waves and the wind shattered all of these thoughts. 

His boat was toppled. He opened his eyes and fought to get his head out of the water, but he was sinking deeper and deeper. His eyes were burning, his lungs were burning. He thought he could hear a song. The last thing he remembered seeing was a white light. After that, there was only darkness.

  
  
  


Kevin hated it when people came into his house uninvited. He liked being alone, he liked sitting on his balcony on quiet mornings, reading books, listening to the sound of waves crashing on the shore. 

It was one of these mornings, when Jean came knocking at his door. Kevin considered not answering. One would expect Jean to leave after two minutes of knocking, but he didn’t look like he would stop any time soon. Kevin slowly got up and dragged himself to the door.

“What?” he asked, irritated.

“They sent a new one,” Jean replied, agitated.

Kevin was tall, while Jean, in this form, not so much. His hair was disheveled, as if he got out of bed too quickly and he didn’t have time to look at the mirror. There were dark circles under his eyes. 

“Stop being so mysterious,” Kevin asked. “What do you mean ‘ _they sent a new one’_?”

“Another sacrifice,” Jean murmured solemnly, almost like those words were painful to him. 

Kevin groaned and closed the door behind him. He murmured something that sounded almost like _let’s go_ and both of them started heading towards Jean’s house - or maybe, palace. To Kevin, everything looked the same. Their Land, the land of the gods, had two suns. At this time of the morning, their light wasn’t so bright. They were just beginning their journey in the sky, for yet another day. Jean’s palace was hovering over the sea. He was the water god after all. There was a hanging wooden bridge leading to it, with blue water flowers on the rail. Their roots were hanging, reaching for the water, almost forming a curtain. 

They entered the palace and Kevin went straight to the kitchen. Jean dragged himself to his room. He thought people had actually forgotten about this whole sacrifice thing. He didn’t expect them to ever send another one. Although, it really looked like they had forgotten an important detail. 

The boy was sleeping. His hands were grabbing the bed sheets and his brows were knitted. Jean thought he was probably having a nightmare. He had no idea what to do, how to handle this situation. He ran his hands through his hair, making them even messier.

Kevin entered the room, holding a bowl. Inside it, there was a black paste. It smelt bad. For a moment he remained still. After a moment he sighed and moved again.

“Why didn’t you call Abby?” Kevin asked, sitting on the edge of the bed. He took Jeremy’s hands on his own and started spreading the paste on his wrists. 

“Your house is closer,” Jean replied and they both knew that was not the truth. 

Kevin worked in silence and Jean observed him. Abby was the goddess of healing and medicine, but Kevin grew up with her and David, so he knew a couple of tricks. He was the god of history and protector of memory. He loved making fun of those who didn’t know everything that has ever happened, which basically means everyone. 

After he applied the paste, he went to the kitchen again and came back with a towel and a bucket of water. He sat on the bed again. Kevin then sunk the towel on the water and started cleaning the boy’s wrists. The scars from the ropes were gone.

“I’ll brew some medicine for when he wakes up,” Kevin said, while working. “It will help him gain back his strength.”

Jean nodded. He couldn’t take his eyes off the sleeping boy. Kevin finished cleaning his wounds, gathered his things and signaled Jean to follow him. They went on the balcony. Jean’s palace had the best view on their Land. The sea extended infinitely. The birds were flying, singing, hunting all around them. 

They both climbed on the wooden table and watched the suns go up, up, up. Jean was short, in this form. Kevin loved making fun of him and pinching his cheeks. 

“You shouldn’t have done it. The drought made them send him,” said Kevin, turning to look at Jean. 

“I thought they had forgotten about it,” Jean replied. 

“Well, there is always someone who remembers. It’s my job to make sure about it, you know,” the other god said mockingly. 

Jean let out a frustrated groan. “I was angry, okay?” he exploded. “Look at what they’ve done. They keep poisoning me and poisoning everything. I sent them a million warnings through the temple and they still ignored me! How stupid! They offended me and you know it. Why should _I_ care about them?”

In reality, Kevin wanted to laugh. It was amusing seeing a god, in the form of a child, being that angry. Jean was powerful indeed, but his appearance during the day made him look like a spoiled little brat who lost his favourite toy and was ready to burn the whole world down in order to find it again. 

“Look,” Kevin said. “They will always fail us no matter what. But, do they deserve to die because of this? There are always innocent people amongst the corrupt.”

“I don’t remember you being _that_ thoughtful when they burned the library of Alexandria,” Jean replied at once. 

And he really wasn’t. But, this conversation was pointless. All of this belonged to the past and there was no way of changing it. The only one who could do such a thing was Andrew, the god of time and of everything that has ever happened. He never used his powers anymore. Andrew prefered to swim and teach others how to fight. 

The two gods were sitting in silence, looking ahead at the never ending horizon, when they heard a voice coming from somewhere inside the house. They both quickly got up and rushed inside. 

“Hello? Is anyone here?” the voice called again.

It was the beautiful, sleeping boy Jean had saved. He was now awake, in the middle of his room, staring at the god’s old piano. When Kevin spoke, he turned to look at them with wide eyes and froze. Jean was afraid he wasn’t even breathing. 

“Oh, so you’re awake,” Kevin began. “I should go brew that medicine, it seems.” He took off towards the kitchen, leaving the other two alone. 

“What’s your name?” Jean asked. 

“Jeremy,” the boy said. “Where am I?” he continued.

He seemed a bit more relaxed now. It was probably because he was left with a child, or someone who at least looked like a 12 year old. Humans never really learned to recognise danger, if when he was staring them right in the eyes. 

Jean smirked, “Your people have used a lot of different names for our home. We just call it the Land.” 

“I still don’t understand,” Jeremy said, smiling. “What’s your name, little one?”

As soon as Jean heard the boy calling him ‘little one’, he turned red and was ready to burst. “I’m not little!” he shouted. “How dare you! I’m Jean, the god of water! _You_ were sacrificed to _me_ ! And _I_ saved you!”

Then, Jean grabbed one of the many vases that were spread all over the place. He turned it upside down and Jeremy was ready to see the water fall down. But, it never did. The water and the flowers were elevating, midair, as if someone had frozen time while they were still falling. 

At the same time, Kevin came back, holding a cup filled with some kind of orange liquid. He headed straight to Jeremy. 

“Already showing off?” he asked, glancing at Jean. He handed the cup to Jeremy. “Here, drink this,” he said. “It will help you feel better.”

The boy took a couple of steps back. He was afraid of them. His eyes were wide, like a deer staring right into a car’s headlights, right before getting hit by it. 

“Look,” he tried again, “I will drink from it too. There is nothing to be afraid of. We don’t want to hurt you.” 

After he said that, he took a couple of sips from the drink. Jeremy hesitated again, but in reality, he was feeling exhausted. As if a train had run over him multiple times. His bones were aching and his throat felt like it was cut with razor blades. Only after he had drank the liquid he realized that a god’s organism probably didn’t work quite like his. 

It tasted almost like an orange juice. As soon as he finished it, he started feeling incredibly sleepy; his eyelids were closing, his head felt heavy. He passed out before he could even understand what was happening. 

Kevin was ready to catch him. He carried him to the bed again and let him sleep. When he returned to the living room, Jean was still standing on the same spot. 

“What the fuck did you do to him?” he demanded. 

His shoulders were tense. His eyes wild. Kevin suddenly realized Jean was _worried_. 

“It will really help him gain back his strength,” he said. “He just needed to sleep a bit more. Don’t worry, as I said, I don’t want to hurt him.” 

Jean finally moved. He sunk into the couch. 

“Now what?” he asked. 

“Now, you are stuck with him,” Kevin replied, sinking in the couch, next to him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Chapter 2 is here. Hope you enjoy it!

Jeremy woke up in a foreign room. The bed was big and comfortable and his pillow felt as if it was a literal cloud. It was warm and he wished he could stay there forever. The room had two solid walls, the one where the door was and the one the bed was put against. The other two were covered by windows. Some of them were open and the gossamer, blue curtains were flying in and out. 

Surprisingly, he could still remember what happened, how he got there and how he met, not one, but two gods. He had already learnt his first lesson in the Land;  _ never trust a god _ . But he found, he wasn’t angered at all about what had happened. It somehow all seemed normal and logical to him. 

He got up, leaving the warmth of the bed and immediately regretted it. Jeremy wrapped his arms around himself and walked to the windows. It was dark outside. The moon had already risen. He was calm, although he was suspecting this was an effect of whatever that boy had made him drink. 

Before he could think more about it, Jeremy heard footsteps and someone got inside the room. It was a boy, around his age, a bit shorter than him, with black hair and a tattoo under his left eye. As he got closer to Jeremy, the boy noticed the tattoo more, but he still couldn’t understand what it was. It looked like a three, or maybe an R, or perhaps a sun. The stranger took off his robe and wrapped it around Jeremy. 

“If you were  _ that _ cold, you could have closed the windows, you know,” he said. 

Only then Jeremy noticed he was trembling. He hadn’t moved at all since the boy got into the room. It was like his presence had somehow paralysed him. The strange boy was now closing the windows. 

“Who are you?” Jeremy finally managed to ask hesitatingly. 

“I am-” the boy started, but for some reason he stopped. “My name is Maxence,” he continued after closing a couple more windows, “Jean’s cousin.”

Jeremy didn’t really know what to say. His life has taken a very weird twist in just one day. Maxence moved closer to him and hesitated before he asked: “Are you mad at Jean?”

Jeremy thought this was a very weird question. The gods weren’t supposed to care, the gods didn’t ask what you believed of them. You just had to actually  _ believe _ and offer them a million gifts. The gods weren’t  _ kind _ . 

_ But maybe, just maybe _ , Jeremy thought,  _ this one was. _

“No, I’m not,” he replied. 

Maxence didn’t seem to believe him. “I need to go,” he murmured and just like that he left. His movements were swift and delicate. When moving, he looked more like he was dancing or swimming, than walking. 

The other boy was left there standing, not knowing what to do. He didn’t want to go back to sleep. After all, he had been sleeping all day. Jeremy decided to go for a walk. He was still holding Maxence’s robe and, since he didn’t want to go through Jean’s wardrobe to find warmer clothes, he went out like that. 

He quickly regretted taking a walk at night. He couldn’t really see much, only some tall buildings without much details. The whole city was asleep and everything was dark. There was only one place that was filled with light. Jeremy’s jaw dropped when he saw it. Apparently, the gods also had a temple. It was a tall building, made of white marble and gold. Its columns were decorated with golden leaves and there were flowers carved at the base of them. There were candles everywhere, melting and illuminating it. It was an otherworldly image really. Jeremy felt chills travel down his spine. 

Before he could think twice about it, his feet were already moving. The temple looked even bigger on the inside and Jeremy felt so small and insignificant. In front of him, at the center of it, there was an enormous statue of a girl, maybe about his age. It was entirely made of gold and she was holding a sword. 

“So, it’s you,” a female voice said behind him. 

Jeremy jumped. He turned around and there she was, the girl, the statue, but without the sword. His heart was racing. 

“Don’t be afraid,” she said again. “Jean told me about you. I am Renee, the guard of the temple, the goddess of justice and protector of all those who were wronged.”

“I’m- I’m Jeremy,” he stuttered. 

Renee started walking. She passed next to him and sat, cross legged, on the steps in front of her statue. Jeremy followed her. 

“What do you know about this tradition that brought you here?” she asked. 

“Our priest said one has to be sent to the water god, so the rain would return. We were dying,” Jeremy replied. 

Renee closed her eyes and sighed. “What your priest forgot is that the person who is sent here, is supposed to be a bride.” 

Jeremy felt the world tilt. “Sorry, what do you mean, a _ bride _ ?” he asked. 

“Yes,” Renee continued. “A bride. It was an old tradition. It wasn’t Jean who created it and it wasn’t him who was getting the girls. He only ever saved me, but that’s a story for another time.”

“I don’t understand,” Jeremy said. “What about me now? Will he send me back?” 

Renee smiled a little, “No, no I don’t think he will,” she said. 

She really was beautiful, Jeremy noticed. She wasn’t very tall, her skin was fair and her eyes dark, as if they could look straight into your soul. She had short hair with colourful tips. 

Jeremy sighed. “So, now what?” he asked. 

“Now, you live with us,” Renee replied. 

  
  


Jean woke up next to Jeremy. He had returned after the sun had risen. Someone was knocking at his door. He slowly got up and dragged himself to the door. It was Matt and Dan. 

“What?” he growled. 

“Good morning to you too,” Matt said cheerfully. “Aren’t you coming to the carnival?” he asked. 

“Later,” Jean replied, before shutting the door. 

Dan said something that sounded a lot like  _ dickhead _ and Jean went to the kitchen. He needed a coffee so badly. It wasn’t long before Jeremy showed up. 

“I thought only adults were allowed to drink coffee,” he said, rubbing his face. 

“I am not a child,” Jean replied. 

His kitchen wasn’t very big. There was a wooden table with four chairs amid the room. Jeremy sat down on one, opposite from Jean. 

“Can I have some?” Jeremy asked. 

Jean didn’t reply, but he got up and poured him a mug. 

“Didn’t know gods also drink coffee,” Jeremy murmured, more to himself than Jean. 

The kid sighed. “We all once were humans,” he said. 

Jeremy didn’t bother to ask what he meant by that. He suspected he wouldn’t get an answer anyway. “Thank you for the rain,” he said instead, “and for saving me.”

Jean started at his cup for a while. “I only brought rain to the sea, not your village,” he finally said. 

Jeremy froze. “What do you mean?” he asked. 

“They don’t deserve to be saved,” Jean replied. His manner was cold, so was his eyes. It was totally unfitting for a child. But, here he was, talking about human lives as if they were nothing. Jeremy got up.

“No- you don’t understand,” he said. “These people are dying! How can you not help them?”

Jean also stood up in his chair. Under other circumstances, that image would be funny, a child standing in a chair and an adult, fighting. But Jean wasn’t kidding at all. He had this power inside him that actually made him scary. 

“Help them?” he shouted. “Why would you want to help them? Didn’t they put you on a boat like a lamb to the slaughter?” 

“That has nothing to do with you! It’s not fair to punish all of them,” Jeremy growled. 

Jean breathed. When he spoke again, his voice was like ice, “Don’t  _ ever _ let yourself be fooled.  _ We _ are  _ not _ kind.”

Then, he stormed out of the room. 

  
  
  


Jeremy spent the rest of the day trying to find Jean. Instead, Matt and Dan found him. He was strolling around the now sunlight city. There were dozens of manors and palaces and shops, one more stunning than the other. In what he thought to be the main square, there was a parade going on. People dressed in white and green clothes were dancing in the rhythm of the strangest song Jeremy had ever heard. It was as if the music itself was making you dizzy. Some of them were wearing flower crowns with pink, yellow, blue, purple flowers on them. It looked like a rainbow dancing right in front of his eyes. 

That was when he felt someone touching his shoulder. Jeremy turned around to find two figures standing behind him. They both had dark skin and black hair and they both didn’t look very menacing, but rather -  _ kind _ . They were smiling at him. 

“Hi!” the boy said. “I’m Matthew, but you can call me Matt, and this is Dan,” he continued, pointing at the girl next to him. 

“Hi,” Jeremy said, quite unsure. He still wasn’t used to meeting all these new people who apparently were gods. But, they looked and acted so much like humans. It was making him confused, he kept forgetting how powerful they are and talking to them like he would talk to any person from his village. In fact, he had no idea how to talk to them. It wasn’t like they taught you about this in school.

“You are Jeremy, right? Renee told us about you. Welcome! You should come with us to the carnival tonight!” Dan said. 

“Yes, sure,” Jeremy replied hesitantly. “Have you seen Jean?” he asked. 

“Have you gotten into a fight? Don’t worry, try finding him at night. He is way less aggressive when the sun is down,” Matt said. 

“Anyway, sorry,” Dan continued, “we have to leave for now, but we will definitely find you again later! It was so nice meeting you! You absolutely have to come with us to the market tonight!” 

Before Jeremy could say goodbye to them, they were already gone.  _ What a weird couple,  _ he thought. But he found he quite liked them. 

The rest of the day went by just like that. Maybe time worked differently there, because Jeremy kept feeling like something was off. He scrolled around the city and finally found the market, next to a river. You could hear the sound of running water even with all the noise from the people. Jeremy wondered if all of them were gods and goddesses. 

There were dozens of market stalls and shops in the same place, colorful lanterns and candles everywhere. He passed in front of stalls with amazing, silk fabrics and dresses, spices and sweets, flowers and alcohol. It basically had everything. After a while he found one selling robes, just like the one Maxence had wrapped around him the previous night. There was one that really caught his eye. It was dark blue and made of silk - or at least something soft that looked like silk, but when you touched it, it was sliding like water. On the back, a sun was embroidered with golden threads. 

Jeremy was mesmerised by it, not noticing someone had approached him. It was Maxence, with that other boy that had given him the hypnotic liquid. 

“Hi,” they both said. Looking at them, a thought occurred to Jeremy; that they didn’t quite like each other. He didn’t know where it came from, but there was something peculiar about these two together. 

“Hi,” he said. 

“Sorry about yesterday,” the other boy said, in a way that made you think he wasn’t really sorry after all. “It really was meant to restore your strength. I am Kevin.”

“Nice to meet you,” Jeremy replied, quite unsure. 

Kevin looked him up and down and as if he decided this situation wasn’t interesting anymore, he turned his back and started leaving. Maxence sighed. “Do you want to go for a walk?” he asked. 

Jeremy nodded and Maxence started leading him towards the river. They walked alongside it for a while. The road was paved, but little flowers were growing in between the cracks of the rocks. They passed numerous arch bridges. In most of them, there were people, leaving small lanterns in the water, shaped like lotuses. The lanterns kept floating and floating. Jeremy had no idea where this river was going, but he assumed it must be connected to the sea. Some people bowed when they saw them. 

“Why are they bowing?” he asked Maxence after a while. 

“Uhh, I am a water deity,” he replied, but his voice was hurried and unsure and something felt weird in Jeremy’s heart. 

They kept walking. Now, there were fewer people. They stopped at a bridge and Maxence sat on the edge of it, his feet hanging in the air above the water. Jeremy followed his step. There were no street lights. Jeremy made a mental note to ask about the lack of proper lighting at night. On the left side of the bridge there were buildings. They looked more like houses and not palaces or manors. He could see inside one of them. That window must have been in the kitchen, because he could see a table, with food on top, and two little kids running around, chasing each other. 

“Not everyone is a god here, right?” he asked. 

“No,” Maxence answered. “There are deities, nymphs, magical creatures, even some humans.” 

Jeremy couldn’t really understand why, but he felt okay in this place. He imagined someone else would freak out. He was literally talking and walking around with  _ gods _ . Maybe he still hadn’t fully realised it, but Jeremy felt as if that’s where he was always meant to be. He was now living in a world with two suns and surprisingly it felt just  _ right.  _ After a while, Maxence spoke. 

“Jean told me you two had a fight this morning,” he murmured.

Jeremy wasn’t sure whether he should trust him or not. But, Maxence seemed alright, kind and nice, although he was always a bit melancholic. He decided to tell him the truth. “I thought he had helped my village, he had brought the rain, but apparently he hadn’t,” he said. 

“Maybe they don’t deserve it,” Maxence whispered. 

Jeremy turned to look at him, the other boy kept staring ahead, at the water. “How could you say that?” he asked. “Jean said gods are not kind, but I  _ know _ he is. He-” Jeremy suddenly stopped. He wasn’t sure if he should continue or not. This felt a little too personal to just say it to anyone. But, somehow he found he trusted Maxence. 

“He what?” the other boy asked and turned to look at him. 

Jeremy felt like his eyes opened a hole in his heart and could see right through his psyche. His brain was working so fast, trying to decide if he should really trust Maxence or not. He felt like everything in this world was like a double-edged sword; you never knew who to trust and you should never be fooled by someone’s appearance. 

Maxence was still staring at him. Sometimes it is very easy to tell when someone’s very nervous and anxious, but they are trying so hard to look calm and not move. Jeremy decided to tell him the truth. It wasn’t like he had much to lose. 

“This was not the first time Jean has saved my life,” he started, avoiding Maxence’s gaze. “I was about 10 back then. I used to love the sea, as much as I love the sun and the moon. For some reason, I was convinced that if I went to the sea alone and no one was around, I’d be able to see a god or a deity,” Jeremy smiled a little, before he continued. “It was my birthday, that day, and we had gone to the temple with my parents. I left one of my wooden toys there. At that time, I felt like that was the greatest gift I could have offered to a god. While we were leaving, I thought I heard a voice. I was sure it was the water god’s voice. I ran to the beach and stayed there all day, waiting for something - anything - to happen. Nothing did for a long time, but as the sun was setting and the sky was turning pink, I heard the voice again. I don’t remember what it said exactly, but it was calling me to get into the water. It is weird thinking about it now, because now that I know Jean, I also know his voice sounds nothing like that. Anyway, I got into the sea. It was almost as if I was hypnotized. I was a very good swimmer back then, but as I was moving further away from the shore, I started getting scared. Just as I was about to start swimming back, something or someone grabbed my leg. I couldn’t see what it was, but it was dragging me down. I fought to get out of its grip, but there was nothing around me to hold onto, only water that was making my eyes burn. I was sinking deeper and deeper, when I saw a lotus flower right in front of me. As soon as I touched it, it vanished and turned into light. I must have passed out, because that’s the last thing I remember. I woke up on the beach, in the middle of the night. At first I thought it was just a dream, but my clothes were still wet and my lungs were hurting. That was the last time I went swimming.”

Only after he had stopped talking, Jeremy realized he had started trembling. Maxence had this look on his face, a look Jeremy recognised as both wanting to comfort someone and not being sure if you should, a mixture of affection and fear. Something felt tight in his chest. Maxence extended his hand, but hesitated before he touched the other boy. Jeremy felt as if he was  _ there _ , in the bridge, feet hanging, the water flowing under him, and, at the same time, not quite  _ there _ . He could almost taste the sea water, hear that deep voice again. He was aware of Maxence’s presence next to him, of his hand hanging in the air in between them, in the same way words always exist inside of him, frozen and scared. He was staring, he knew that, but he couldn’t look away.

Jeremy waited and waited for that comforting touch to ground him, to steady him, but it never came. As if waking up from a dream, Maxence quickly withdrew his hand, coughed and got up. 

“I’m so sorry to hear that,” he blurted out, his voice hurried. “I’m honestly so  _ very _ sorry,” he said again and he started quickly walking away. That snapped Jeremy out of his thoughts. 

He got up and ran after Maxence. “Wait!” he shouted. The other boy didn’t slow down, but Jeremy was faster. He grabbed him by his wrist and forced Maxence to stop and look at him. 

“Why are you leaving like that?” he asked confused. There was this weird feeling in his chest and stomach. A feeling he couldn’t quite name. 

Maxence’s eyes were dark and Jeremy didn’t know why, but the image of the dark sea came to his mind. “I have somewhere to be,” he said. His jaw was set and his shoulders tense. He yanked his wrist away from Jeremy’s grip and started walking away once again. 

He didn’t look back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think it was clear, but just in case it wasn't, Jean and Maxence are the same person. Yes, Jean's curse is being a child during the day.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy!

Jean woke up in Renee and Allison’s house. After he left Jeremy the previous night, he went to the temple and found the girls. They didn’t talk much. They just started drinking. Jean never really talked much with Allison in general. Not because he didn’t like her, they just worked that way. They understood each other in a different way. 

That’s why when he entered the temple, his face and mind clouded, she didn’t say anything, just went to their house and brought two bottles of alcohol. It was a type of wine Renee made herself. It smelled like roses. Renee also had this unique way of understanding him. When he was with them, he really felt known. Jean couldn’t decide if he hated or loved it. He was never good with feelings.

After three or four glasses Renee sighed. “You have to tell him,” she said. 

Jean’s heart felt heavy. “Tell him what?” he said.

“Everything,” Renee replied and sighed again. “Sometimes,” she continued, “I think you live too much inside your head. The world isn’t as bad as you think. Stop keeping everything inside, before you explode and hurt everyone around you.” 

Jean only managed to get a shaky  _ okay _ out. They kept drinking till the sun rose and he suddenly turned into a boy, his clothes too big to fit him. 

He woke up well into the day. The girls’ house smelled like vanilla and roses. It made his head hurt even more. Renee and Allison were still sleeping. He searched a bit around and found a pen and a piece of paper. He left it on the kitchen table. He wrote only two words;  _ thank you _ .

  
  
  


When he got back home, he found Jeremy on the balcony. He seemed somehow  _ tired.  _ His eyes seemed out of focus and he jumped a little when Jean spoke. 

“Have you eaten anything?” he asked Jeremy. 

“No,” he replied, not looking at him. 

Jean sighed and dragged himself to the kitchen. His headache was getting worse. He opened the fridge to find it almost empty, but he still had a jar of pesto Nicky had given him. He opened a couple of cupboards and finally found a package of pasta. He took a pot out and filled it with water. In this form, he was barely tall enough to do all that. It was one of the many things that pissed him off. He slowly carried the pot filled with water and put it on the burner. Only then did he realize Jeremy was leaning on the doorframe, watching him. Jean’s ears turned red, but he tried to ignore him. 

The water started boiling. He put a pinch of salt in it and opened the package of pasta. He now had to wait 10 minutes for them to be ready. He sat at the kitchen table, placed his head on top of it and wished his headache would go away. Jeremy came and sat opposite him. 

“I am not mad at you for yesterday,” he said, “but you really should stop punishing these people,” he continued.

Jean was confused for a second, but then he remembered their morning fight. The truth was, Jean was tired. Tired of being a child, of being alone, of being mad at everyone and everything. Without raising his head from the table, he extended one hand upwards and snapped his fingers. 

“Done,” he said, his voice muffled, because of the table. “It is raining in your home right now.”

“What?” Jeremy asked, confused.

Jean finally looked at him. He touched his hand and suddenly they both were in the middle of Jeremy’s village. There were dark clouds above their heads and time seemed frozen, no one around them was moving. Jeremy felt the first drop of water hit his cheek and slide down his face. Then, multiple drops fell at once and everyone around the started shouting and running. 

“The rain!”, they said. “The rain came back! The water god has blessed us!” 

Some of them fell to their knees, praying to the god, thanking him for his mercy. Jeremy turned to look at the kid next to him. It was the first time he really saw Jean for what he is, a powerful god. 

The next moment he was back at Jean’s kitchen. The child got up; the pasta was ready. He removed the water from the pot and added four teaspoons of pesto. He mixed it all together and took two plates out of another cupboard. Jeremy barely touched his food in the first 10 minutes.

“Are you going to keep staring at me forever?” Jean asked.

That seemed to snatch Jeremy out of his thoughts. “Sorry,” he mumbled. He cleared his throat, before he said, “Thank you,” and started eating. 

Jean continued eating, trying not to dwell on the fact that his heart missed a beat when Jeremy spoke. 

Jeremy spent the rest of the day alone. He wandered around the house, but was gravitated, once again, towards the balcony. He couldn’t quite understand why he liked being in that part of the house. He sat on one of the big wooden chairs. He folded his legs and brought them up to his chest, hugging them. Jeremy liked turning small like that. He had never been very big to begin with. He always was one of the shortest boys in his village, everyone was making fun of him. But Jeremy liked it that way, because it meant he got to hide easily. Sometimes he imagined himself shrinking and shrinking and becoming so tiny, no one could find him and that’s how he’d escape all his problems once and for all. All Jeremy ever wanted was to run away from his problems, from his thoughts. All Jeremy ever wanted was to be happy. 

It was one of these days; the days he felt like the clouds were choking him and the words were birds, nesting on his lungs, making it difficult for him to breath. Jeremy was used to being kind, using nice words that fell like silk out of his mouth, his tongue dipped in honey. But sometimes, that was all too much for him. Sometimes he didn’t want to smile all the time, he wanted - he  _ needed _ \- someone to hold him tightly and tell him  _ this too shall pass.  _ Jeremy was tired of feeling obligated to look happy all the time. 

While the suns were setting, behind the heavy clouds, a thought occurred to him; he hadn’t been happy for a while. 

  
  


After the night fell, he decided to go for a walk. For once, he didn’t take the same road he always did, the one that led to the city. On his left, there was a narrow path. This time he had taken a lantern with him. The rocks under his feet felt rough and Jeremy had no idea where he was heading. He had started thinking this was a very bad choice, when he heard voices. He slowly made his way towards the source of them, trying not to make a sound. 

There was a small opening, next to the sea. Jeremy remained hidden behind a tree. He could see there was a small cliff leading to the water and there, sitting on the rocks, there were four people. He immediately recognised Maxence and Kevin’s voice. The other two, he didn’t know. They both looked tiny sitting next to Kevin and Maxence. Jeremy smiled a bit. 

He was about to come out of his hiding spot - he didn’t really want to eavesdrop on them - when he heard Kevin say something that stopped him dead in his tracks. 

“What are you going to do about Jeremy?” Kevin asked Maxence. 

Jeremy stopped breathing the moment he heard his name.  _ What is there to be done about me,  _ he thought.  _ Why is Kevin asking something like this?  _ But before Maxence got to answer, one of the other boys spoke first. 

“I think you should tell him the truth. There is no point in lying,” he said plainly. 

_ Lying? What was Maxence lying about and why? _

Maxence turned to look at him. He was holding something that Jeremy realised was a bottle. “Yes, Neil, you and  _ everyone _ else in this place. Thing is, it’s none of your fucking business. Thank you for contributing to this conversation. Your opinion will be ignored once again,” he said, taking a sip of the bottle. 

Then, a number of things happened at once, leaving no time for Jeremy to understand and react to any of them. 

One, the boy, who was apparently named Neil, said, “Fuck off Jean,” but there was no heat in it. 

Two, a white owl appeared out of nowhere, throwing a piece of paper onto Maxence’s -  _ Jean?  _ \- lap. “Shit,” he shouted as soon as he read it, “my mother is coming.” All four of them quickly got up, as if they had just been informed about the death of someone. 

Three, Jeremy heard a low growl from behind him. He slowly turned and saw something that looked like a dog, with red eyes and very  _ very  _ sharp teeth, staring and growling at him. 

His breath hitched and his heart missed a beat. Jeremy backed away quickly, getting out of his hiding spot. He momentarily forgot about everything else, the boys, the cliff, the sea, and started running. He fell into Maxence and they both stumbled together towards the water. A mess of limbs going down the rocks. 

They hit the water and suddenly Jeremy wasn’t in the Land anymore, he was back home, he was 10 and he was drowning. His hands desperately tried to hold onto something, but there was only water around him. He was sinking deeper and deeper and  _ panicking. _ But then he felt a hand grabbing his arm and pulling him out. As soon as his head was out of the water, he was gasping for breath, trying not to cry.

The night was dark and he could barely make out the face of Maxence in front of him. The boy was holding him by his waist, close to his body. He was breathing hard and his brows were knitted. He kept saying something, but Jeremy couldn’t hear him. There was this awful ringing in his head taking over all of his senses. 

Maxence started swimming towards the shore. The other boys helped them climb up the rocks. As soon as they were out of the water, they both fell onto their backs, breathing hard. Maxence snapped out of it first. He leaned over the other boy, his hands feeling their way all over his face. 

“Are you hurt?” he was asking, over and over and  _ over _ again. Jeremy could only feel soft fingertips travelling around his face, his neck, his hands, his legs and up again, his head. Maxence was scared, Jeremy realized, but again it was as if his mind and his body were working separately; he wasn’t able to move or speak. It was like he was watching this whole scene unravelling from a very distant place. 

Maxence turned and said something to the others, but Jeremy couldn’t quite catch it. Then he saw his hand. It glimmered red under the moonlight. It was blood,  _ his blood.  _ Now Kevin was leaning over him too, his hand feeling around his hair. Jeremy registered it all as a fact, the bleeding, the distant pain, Maxence’s body next to his. A thought occurred to him;  _ he should be panicking _ . Instead, he was drifting off. His heartbeat was getting slower and his breathing deeper. 

He closed his eyes.

  
  


Jean was  _ panicking _ . His heartbeat was accelerating. He was almost sure his heart would jump out of his chest at any minute, shredded by his ribcage. There was a pain in his chest, as if invisible hands were squeezing his lungs from within, and this awful lump in his throat that made him want to throw up. 

Jean was panicking for multiple things, all at once. His mother, coming to visit in less than two days. Jeremy, passed out in his arms, carrying him to Abby’s house. The conversation they were having, before Jeremy ran out of the bushes, and how much of it he heard. Maybe Neil was right. He should tell him the truth. Hiding all the time was so  _ exhausting. _

Abby told him not to worry, that he would heal fast. But Jean’s hand was still covered with Jeremy’s blood. He tried to wash it off, but it still remained under his fingernails, a reminder of how everyone around him would eventually get hurt. 

He looked at himself in the bathroom mirror. Sometimes even he didn’t recognise himself. But, at that moment, the person looking back at him was undoubtedly Jean. His hair was black, same as the ink that stained his left cheekbone, and disheveled. Hie eyes grey, tired and empty, his mouth slightly open, his bottom lip quivering slightly. He watched his reflection bring up his left hand and touch his tattoo. Even Jean wasn’t sure what it was; it was constantly changing shapes. A bitter reminder of his curse - of the fact that he would never have a happy and normal life. 

He started running. His feet - or maybe his heart - led him to the old, abandoned house, at the edge of the city. He hadn’t visited that place in over seven years. Now, the manor was towering over him, dark and menacing. When he was little, he loved playing in the garden, but now it was taken over by vines and parasites. He made his way through them and climbed the old stairs. The door was locked, but he was always wearing the key around his neck, hanging from a golden chain. 

Once, this was his house, his  _ home _ , before his parents sent him away to the Moriyamas and moved to the City. He knew every room, every hallway, every little twist and turn, like the back of his hand. He used to wake up early in the morning every day and watch the suns rise from the balcony of the second floor. Jean didn’t have any powers back then. He was just a simple, normal kid, who loved pancakes and swimming. 

He slowly moved towards his old bedroom. Not much had changed since he left all those years ago. His parents didn’t bother to take any of his belongings with them. Besides, they didn’t think they would ever see him again. 

Everything was filled with dust. It made him think of a certain boy whose hair had the same colour. He pushed the thought far back into his mind again. 

He dragged his chair in front of the bedroom’s window and sat down. He folded his legs and brought them to his chest, hugging them. Jean had always been tall, all clumsy and graceless limbs. No matter where he was, he would stand out. He didn’t like the attention. Dark eyes always following him and cold hands always touching him, trapping him. Even after all these years he couldn’t shake the feeling of a foreign touch on his skin. Chills traveled down his body and he hugged himself tighter. For once, he wished he wasn’t alone. 

As he was watching the suns rise, tears streamed down his face and his sobs echoed through the empty house like birds of sorrow crashing with the walls and falling, dead to the floor. 


	4. Chapter 4

Jeremy woke up in a room he didn’t recognise. Again. Its walls were white and it had only one window. Outside, it was almost dark, but he wasn’t sure if the suns were about to rise or if they had just set. At least three colourful blankets were thrown on him. He could smell his own sweat, mixed with the scent of lavender. He tried to get up, but as soon as he moved his head, a sharp pain pierced through his skull. A sound escaped from his mouth, a mixture of pain and surprise. The bedroom door opened soon after. 

Maxence leaned hesitantly on the doorframe, not daring to move further into the room. Jeremy stared at him for a while. There was this feeling of uneasiness spreading on his chest like he was forgetting something very important. 

“How’s your head?” Maxence asked. 

Jeremy smiled a bit. “In pain,” he answered. 

The other boy sighed and moved closer to the bed. He sat on the edge of it and helped Jeremy sit up. 

“We- we need to talk,” he blurted out. 

Jeremy was confused for a moment, but then he remembered. He remembered the dog, the sea, the letter and that red haired boy calling Maxence  _ Jean _ . His eyes widened. 

“Why did he call you Jean?” he asked quickly, without really thinking about it. 

Maxence closed his eyes as if this question was physically painful to him - and maybe it was. “Because-” he started, “because I- I am Jean,” he said, his voice shaky and  _ frightened,  _ still not looking at Jeremy. He covered his face with his hands, like he didn’t want to be seen at that moment. Jeremy used to do that too, when he was little; he would close his eyes and cover his face, because if  _ he  _ couldn’t see the world, then the world wouldn’t be able to see him either. 

He couldn’t really understand the meaning of what the other boy said. It was all too new, too confusing for him and his head was about to explode. He slowly reached and touched Maxence’s -  _ Jeans’s? -  _ hands, not pulling them away from his face, but only touching them, trying to say  _ this is okay, everything is going to be okay. _

The boy slowly removed his hands from over his eyes and looked at Jeremy. His eyes were red. “I don’t understand,” he said. “But that’s okay. I’m here if you want to explain or talk about it.”

Now Maxence looked even closer to crying. He hastily got up and left the room. 

Jean sat on the couch. This was it. He had told the truth to Jeremy and now that it was out in the open, he felt more scared than ever. If the Moriyamas had taught him anything, then that would be the truth must always stay hidden and that if you can’t control your feelings, they will swallow you whole. 

“Good fucking job,” he whispered under his breath.

  
  


David has never been the shy type. He enjoyed looking people straight in the eyes and telling them the truth. He thought of lies the same way one thinks about snakes; he was scared of their poison. But he was also aware of the kind way truth should be handled; truth could be as painful and poisonous as lies. 

He had never been too close to Jean. Of course, he knew his story - everyone did. But Jean always seemed to avoid him and David respected that. He knew far too well what living with the Moriyamas can do to someone and he secretly felt sorry for him.

Most people called him Wymack - they probably felt it suited him more - but he always prefered David. He was the god of family and protector of one’s  _ home _ . That basically meant he was the protector of whatever one might consider home; a house, a place, a smell, a  _ person _ . For example, he knew Renee felt at home when she was around Allison, the same way Andrew always stayed around Neil. Broken people really love making a home in the arms of someone else. David also knew that Jean didn’t have a home and, even though he didn’t like showing it, it really hurt him. 

When he opened the bedroom door, Jeremy froze. He was probably expecting Jean to come back. His eyes were open and wild, searching for answers. David saw something in them, an opportunity, a  _ maybe _ . 

He sat down on the edge of the bed. "Don't try to get up," he said. "Your headache will get worse." 

Jeremy moved his pillows a little, making himself more comfortable. "Who are you?" he asked. 

"I'm David Wymack," he answered. "My wife is the goddess of medicine and this is my bedroom. Jean brought you here last night, after you fell off a cliff together."

The boy winced as if the memory alone was painful. "Thank you," he said and then he hesitated. "Where is Jean?" he asked lastly. 

David sighed and looked Jeremy straight in the eyes before answering. "He is outside, sitting on the couch," he said. "It was a big step, you know. Him telling you the truth, it was very important to him," he continued. 

"Did he send you?" Jeremy suddenly asked. 

"No. I'm sure he knows I'm talking to you right now, but he didn't ask me to. Jean, you know, he sometimes lives too much in his mind. He was scared to tell you. We really do stupid things when we are afraid."

"What happened to him?" he finally asked, his voice low, almost a whisper. 

"His parents were cruel people," he started. "When he was around seven or eight they sold him to the Moriyamas. They weren't very powerful, they wanted more. And they got it, in exchange for their child. Jean stayed with them for about ten years. He met Kevin and Renee there. Kevin escaped two years before they did. Their life there was horrible, but it's not my place to share anything more. The Moriyamas had power. Riko, their second son, was proclaimed god of war and bloodshed at the age of twelve. Yes, sounds impressive, but the truth is, it is just awful. Anyway, most of his power stems from his crown. Now, I don't have a lot of good things to say for this family, but it was a  _ beautiful  _ crown. Black and sharp, with twelve shiny rubies. It was as if a black mist always surrounded it. Jean and Renee came up with a plan. They would steal it. Riko would be weakened and they would be able to run away." 

David stopped and sighed again. He searched Jeremy’s face. The boy was still looking and him and listening like his whole life depended on it. Wymack didn't want to go into much detail. It wasn't his business anyway, but he didn't want to see Jean lose yet another person he cared about. 

"Their plan worked mostly, but they had to fight Riko. He was still strong even without his crown. They almost died.  _ Almost.  _ But Riko used his last bit of strength to curse Jean. Now, he can only be himself when the night falls."

David closed his eyes. He always had a soft spot for tortured kids and he hated the Moriyamas more than anything in the world. If he could, he'd make them pay for everything they've ever done - especially to his son. 

"Can the curse be broken?" he whispered, as if the question and, most importantly, the answer scared him, but before David could answer, there was a knock at the door. 

A middle-aged woman entered the room. Her clothes were white and her eyes tired. She smiled at him. 

“I’m Abby,” she said, walking towards the bed. “It is time to take your medicine.”

She was holding a glass filled with a black liquid. Jeremy looked at it suspiciously. Abby sensed his uneasiness and reached for his arm. Her touch was soft and delicate and it reminded him of his mother. 

“It will make the pain go away,” she said and Jeremy had this feeling she meant more than just the pain in his head. 

He slowly extended his hand and took the glass. 

He closed his eyes and swallowed it. 

  
  


It was almost noon when Jeremy woke up again. He was feeling way better and at least his headache was gone. Abby let him go back home and gave him a bottle of medicine. She said it was a cure for almost everything, especially feeling nauseous. David led him to Jean’s house. Jeremy was unusually quiet. The truth had found an uncomfortable way of nesting in his heart and mind. Everything that David said to him had crept inside of him and made him afraid; afraid of talking and facing Jean again. Now, more than ever, Jeremy didn’t know what to say to him. 

The house was quiet. There was a certain stillness, the type of stillness you only find in places where someone has died. At first, Jeremy thought Jean wasn't in the house, but then he noticed the closed bedroom door. He tried the handle but it was locked from within. He knocked. 

"Jean?" he said. For a few moments there was no answer, but then he heard shuffling like someone moved towards the door. 

"Yes?" a weak voice responded, muffled by the door separating them. 

"Do- do you want to talk to me?" Jeremy asked carefully. He had this feeling he wasn't supposed to know any of this, that he was somehow invading Jean's mind. 

There was a thud, which sounded a lot like Jean sitting down on the other side of the door, his back against it. Jeremy did the same. But the door - it was always there, separating them. 

"I'm sorry," Jean started, "but I don't want you to see me like this anymore."

"Okay," Jeremy replied. 

"I know that Wymack told you about me."

"Okay," Jeremy said again. "I'm not mad at you," he added and he felt very stupid saying something like that, but for some reason he  _ needed _ to say it. 

"This must sound like a pretty dumb curse to you, but Riko is really smart. He didn't just make me turn into a child every morning. He made me look into the mirror and see the weak kid I once was. The kid that couldn't fight back. The ghost of everything that I've lost and I  _ hate  _ him for it.” 

Jeremy felt a lump in his throat. He had the distant feeling Jean had never said this to anyone before and it made him frustrated trying to figure out why he was telling it to  _ him.  _

The words were stuck in his heart. He couldn't stop thinking of Jean, 12 year old Jean, crying alone in a dark palace. 

"You know," Jean continued, his voice shaky, "when I was little I loved the suns. The warmth of them on my skin. Before my parents became gods they were from Marseille. Yes, almost all gods were humans once. That was also part of my curse. Riko specifically said;  _ when the sun is up and it shines on your eyes, you will never look like a god, you will hide behind a child and the sun will be eating your mind and your psyche _ .”

His voice was hoarse when he said, “I miss the sun.”

Jeremy felt a tightness in his chest. He knew very well how it felt missing something or someone so much that when thinking about it, it felt like knives piercing your heart. 

As if Jean had heard his thoughts, he suddenly said, “Do you miss your village? Your parents?”

Jean was trying to change the subject, avoid his own pain. Jeremy didn’t blame him for that, but that question felt like a dagger going through his chest. But he started talking anyway, to ease Jean’s pain, to make him forget. 

“I miss it a lot,” he started. “My parents were farmers. I loved the summer there. I had no school and I could stay out all day. My mother was always afraid that I’d get a heat stroke from playing around under the afternoon sun. We mostly had corn fields, but also some olive trees. Sometimes they would drag me with them out in the fields, to harvest. I always pretended I didn’t like it, but to be honest, I loved it. The sound of the cicadas, carried by the wind and the sound of our heavy-breathing were the only things you could hear, the only things that existed in your mind. I loved being at the fields because only there I could stop thinking.”

“My house was small,” he continued, “and usually empty. My parents spent most of their day outside. My father was also a carpenter. My bedroom was filled with small wooden figures he had made for me. There was one of a raven. It was the most beautiful one, but it sometimes scared me.” He let out a small laugh. 

“Aren’t you mad at them?” Jean asked. “For sending you to die?”

“No,” Jeremy said and at that moment, he knew that that was the truth, that that had always been the truth.  _ They _ didn’t send him to die, he chose this for himself. “I think it was the least I could do,” he continued. “We were all dying,” he finally whispered. 

“I’m sorry,” Jean whispered back. 

As the suns were going down, so were Jeremy’s eyelids once again. He was exhausted. His mind was now filled with images from his village. He remembered seeing this girl, she must have been around 10 and she was begging for food. He wanted to help her, he wanted to give her the loaf of bread he was holding, but that would mean his own family would starve for a couple of days. He looked away and walked past her. He didn’t see her ever again. 

He fell asleep leaning against the door, the image of the girl’s green eyes haunting his dreams. 

  
  


Jeremy woke up in the middle of the night again. His first thought was that he was really fucking up his sleep schedule. His second thought was that this bed was extremely soft and he didn’t want to get out of the sheets. His third thought was that they smelled like Jean. 

He abruptly opened his eyes. He was indeed in Jean’s bed, having no idea how he got there. He scanned the room and found Jean was standing in front of the windows, staring outside. 

“What are you doing?” Jeremy asked.

The other boy turned to look at him. Under the moonlight, Jean looked, more than ever, like a god. His face was dark and his shoulders tense. 

“Did something happen?” Jeremy asked again, fear creeping to his heart. 

“My mother is here,” Jean said. His voice was low, barely above a whisper. It was almost as if he was announcing the death of someone. 

“You need to leave,” he continued and suddenly there was a burst of movement. As if what he said set him on fire, he started pacing around the room. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he kept repeating, frantic. “She doesn’t like humans, she will hurt you. You need to leave.  _ Tonight. _ ”

Jeremy quickly got up. “Jean calm down,” he said. He hadn’t seen him panicking like that before. 

But Jean wasn’t looking at him. His gaze traveled to his nightstand. There was a glass there. “Is that water?” he asked. “I really need water.” 

And before Jeremy could say a word, Jean had already downed the liquid. He looked at the empty glass curiously, brows furrowed. 

“This tasted weird,” he said. “Anyway,” he continued, “you still need to get out of here as soon as possible.”

His words sounded weird now. There was no heat in them and he was talking slower and slower as if he was thinking of something else or his mind was shutting down. 

He suddenly looked Jeremy straight in the eyes. “I think I was poisoned,” he said, and then he collapsed. 

Jeremy barely managed to catch him before hitting his head on the corner of the nightstand. “Jean!” he shouted, but Jean had closed his eyes. 

The words were ringing inside of him.  _ Poison, poison, poison. _ His mind was running fast. In his arms he had Jean, unconscious.  _ Poison _ . He remembered the medicine Abby gave him.  _ It can cure almost everything, _ she had said. He checked Jean’s pulse; it was getting slower.  _ Poison _ . He placed him on the bed and ran to the kitchen. He started opening cupboards, he couldn’t remember where he had put it.  _ Poison _ . He found it in the fridge and ran back to Jean.  _ Who would want to poison the water god? Unless they didn’t want to poison Jean. _ He opened the boy’s mouth and poured half the bottle in it. 

Jean regained his senses and started coughing. 

Jeremy was relieved to see Jean conscious again. He felt like a weight was lifted off his chest and he could breathe again. “What the fuck just happened?” he whispered.

Jean turned to look at him. He was breathing hard and he looked worried. 

“Why- why are there two of you?” he asked and fell backwards to his pillows.

Jeremy felt a sharp pain in his chest. Something was seriously wrong. He grabbed Abby’s bottle again. He only then noticed that at the bottom of it, there was a small piece of paper. It read;  _ BEWARE! DO NOT DRINK MORE THAN TWO TABLESPOONS AT A TIME. DANGER OF HALLUCINATIONS AND HIGH FEVER. (The side effects last about two hours, be patient).  _

He let out a frustrated groan and leaned over Jean. The boy was looking at the ceiling and smiling. He placed his hand on his forehead. Jean was burning up. 

Jeremy cupped the other boy’s face with his hands. “Jean,” he said, “look at me. We just have to wait a couple of hours, that’s all, and all of this will go away.”

Jean slowly tore his eyes from the ceiling and looked at Jeremy. There was something soft in his eyes. Jeremy searched them, but he couldn’t understand what was happening inside Jean’s head. It was the first time he was seeing him like that. He looked relaxed and almost -  _ happy.  _

Jean giggled a little. He then did something the other boy never expected. He raised his head from the pillow a little and kissed Jeremy. 

It was just a peck and Jean was giggling again, but Jeremy felt like his heart was exploding in slow motion and his lungs were on fire. His brain was screaming, but his body was frozen and he couldn’t stop thinking how  _ soft _ Jean’s lips were. And then - Jean did it again. 

But this time, it wasn’t just a peck. Jeremy’s mind short-circuited and his lips parted involuntarily. Jean’s warm breath traveled through his body and set every part of him on fire. Their mouths fitted so perfectly together, as if they were always meant to be connected. Jean’s hand found its way to his cheek and Jeremy felt like he couldn’t breathe anymore. 

Jean broke the kiss and for a second Jeremy chased after his mouth, because this was too much, but also too little. 

As soon as his brain started working again, he got off the bed and backed away from it. Jean was looking at him, frowning. Jeremy was trying so hard to think straight, to put his thoughts and feelings in an order, but he was failing miserably at it. 

All he could really think looking at Jean’s slightly parted lips was that he wanted to do this again and again and again and  _ again _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked the new chapter please consider leaving a kudo or a comment❤️


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The wonderful art again belongs to Deya 💕

Jeremy ran, because his thoughts were too much to handle and sometimes he was a coward. When he came back Jean was sleeping. So he waited and waited and when Jean woke up Jeremy was standing in front of the windows, the same way Jean had a few hours ago, although it now felt like a decade had passed since then. It was around 4am, if Jeremy’s calculations were correct and if time worked the same way in the Land. That meant that the suns would come out in about two hours and Jean will turn to a child again. But they needed to  _ talk _ and Jeremy was almost ready to wake him up when he heard a soft groan. He could barely make out the shape of Jean’s body stretching under the dim moonlight. 

“Hi,” he said.

Jean slowly sat up on the bed and looked at Jeremy. “What happened?” he asked.

“You somehow got poisoned and then I gave you Abby’s medicine and you started hallucinating,” Jeremy said quickly, because that was the least of his worries. He wanted to talk about what happened _ after. _

Jean jumped off the bed, as if Jeremy’s words set his body on. 

“I got poisoned,” he repeated. “I remember drinking a glass of water from your nightstand. Wasn’t it yours?” he asked slowly, picking his words one by one.

Jeremy was taken aback by this question, “No, I don’t think it was,” he answered.

Jean’s face darkened. “My mother,” he murmured. “For fuck’s sake- you are leaving.  _ Now. _ ” 

He quickly moved towards Jeremy, grabbed his hand and started leading him outside of the house. Jeremy didn’t even have time to protest. 

They walked for about five minutes and Jean kept ignoring Jeremy’s attempts to talk to him. The house he led him to looked older than Jean’s and it was next to the sea. The door was made of wood and painted blue. The upper half of it was made of glass and there was a white curtain covering it from the inside. 

Jean knocked at the door. 

Through the curtain, Jeremy could see someone carrying a candle coming to the door. A very sleepy Kevin opened it. His clothes were wrinkled and his hair disheveled. He was rubbing his eyes.

“What do you two possibly want at this unholy hour of the night?” he asked. 

Jean let go of Jeremy’s hand and leaned towards Kevin. He whispered something in his ear and Jeremy felt a tinge of jealousy. 

“No,” Kevin suddenly said and he looked way more awake now. “I’m not going to do that to him.”

“Kevin!” Jean pleaded. 

But Kevin’s expression didn’t change one bit. The candle he was holding illuminated his face in a weird way. He looked  _ cruel _ . Kevin turned to look at Jeremy and his heart froze.

“I am not helping Jean with his stupid plan, because he wants me to erase your memories and put you back in your village,” he said. 

Jeremy felt the world tilt. He took a step back.  _ This wasn’t possible.  _ Jean - who had always been kind to him. Jean - who had looked after him and saved his life. Jean - who had kissed him and they still haven’t talked about it and it was eating Jeremy alive because he didn’t know if it was because of the hallucinations or if Jean wanted to do it anyway.  _ That  _ Jean wanted Kevin to erase his memories, delete him from his life.

“ _ Of course,  _ you wouldn’t help me,” Jean erupted. “When in your life did you do anything for me?”

Kevin flinched hearing these words. “Jean, I-” he started but the other boy interrupted him.

“You- what?” he shouted. “I don’t want to hear any of your excuses! And I don’t want to talk about the past again. I’m asking you this now. You called my plan stupid, but what other options do we fucking have? Get him to Renee and hide him forever or should I just take him straight to my fucking mother?”

They were staring at each other's eyes and at that moment they really looked like two gods. Kevin was the first to break. He closed his eyes and sighed. 

“Promise me you won’t leave him there forever,” he said, eyes still closed, like a little kid who doesn’t want to face the world. 

“I promise,” Jean said, the words heavy on his tongue.

And then Kevin turned to Jeremy, who was watching the whole scene unfold, unable to say or do anything. He considered running, but it was apparently too late, because Kevin had already begun reciting something and Jeremy’s thoughts were getting fuzzier and fuzzier. 

He tried to speak, but no words flew out of his open mouth and he turned to look at Jean, but the other boy was avoiding his gaze. Tears involuntarily fell down his face and he felt like he couldn’t breath anymore, but he didn’t take his eyes off Jean. 

Deep down he knew that this was the only way, that Jean’s mother had almost poisoned him once and she would try it again, although he couldn’t understand where all this hatred came from. But at the same time, he couldn’t help but feel betrayed. It was as if he was back on his wooden boat again, hands and legs tied, someone else deciding what would happen to him. People seemed to like tearing him apart. Jeremy realized he was always left holding his own bloody, broken heart, always trying to put it back together. 

He was crying, but he didn’t care. Jean’s eyes met his. He drowned in an ocean of darkness. 

Jeremy was lying down on a field. The dirt had gotten under his fingertips and he was trying to clean them. His clothes were dirty and leaves had gotten mixed in his hair. Jeremy didn’t care much about all that. 

He closed his eyes. The sun was hitting his face, warmth traveling all over his body. The summer hadn’t arrived yet, so the sun was warm, but not too hot. It felt just like a warm embrace on his skin. There were a couple of clouds traveling above; he thought one of them looked a lot like a ship. 

A week ago he had a very weird dream. In it, he was sacrificed, met the water god, kissed him and then another god erased his memories, because he was in mortal danger. Jeremy smiled a bit at the absurdity of it, ignoring the gaping hole he felt in his heart. He tried not to think about that dream too much, but he just couldn’t. It felt too real. And he hadn’t had any dream since then.

Nothing interesting had happened in that past week. He helped his parents with the fields, he cooked with his mother, he hung out a bit with Laila and Alvarez, he found a job and he didn’t go to the temple on Sunday. His mother refused to talk to him for two days because of that. He wanted to go really, but as soon as he arrived outside with the rest of his family, he felt this sharp pain in his chest. The temple was in front of him, the rays of the early sun reflecting on its golden details, and he was feeling  _ something _ that he would have called longing, but that didn’t make any sense. So, he told his parents he was feeling sick and went home. 

Again, he didn’t know why he couldn’t stop thinking about that moment. Lately, he found himself unable to explain lots of things. 

He slowly got up and started walking towards the village again. He had to go wash himself and go to work. He had started working in a bakery. Laila's father owned it and she had persuaded him to hire Jeremy. He liked working there, it helped him get his mind off things. 

All his days were more or less the same; he woke up before the sunrise, he went to work, he wandered around the fields and talked with Laila and Alvarez, he went back to sleep. And everyday he woke up feeling like something was missing from his life, like someone had opened a hole in his world and removed something essential - something he couldn't remember. 

Until another weird thing happened. It had started raining and he was rushing to work. Jeremy was unsuccessfully trying to cover his head with his coat. He could barely see where he was going. And then, he bumped into something with such force that he fell backwards into the mud. 

"I'm terribly sorry-" he started, but then he looked up and no one was there. He slowly got up and looked around. That was when a boy appeared in front of him, out of thin air. It felt almost like a memory, like a ghost standing in his way. His frame was almost flickering and if he starred hard enough, he could almost see through him. It was a boy, a boy around his age, the rain violently hitting him. His eyes were closed, his head fallen back, facing the dark sky. The raindrops were streaming down his face, his neck, his hands. His expression was calm, peaceful, as if he was truly enjoying the moment. 

Jeremy extended his hand, but he couldn’t touch the other person - if it was a person at all. The boy opened his eyes and looked straight at him. He smiled, but there was a certain kind of sadness in that smile. He reached for Jeremy and Jeremy wanted to take a step back, but his feet were rooted. The boy’s hand touched his chest, right above his heart, and then - he vanished. 

As soon as he was gone, Jeremy felt a sharp pain in his heart. A scream escaped his mouth. It was an awful pain, as if someone had hit it with a sledgehammer. He fell to his knees and for a moment he was out of breath. 

He stayed like that for a while, facing the mud. And then he started crying. He started crying because he had no idea what was happening to him, what was going on inside his head, and it was making him sad and angry and frustrated. He wanted to shout, to scream at the world, to have someone to blame, but there was no one - he was just losing his mind. 

He got off the ground and started walking. Not towards the bakery, but back to his home. He laid down in his bed and slept. He slept and slept and only woke up to eat. Jeremy sometimes lived too much in his head. He wished for everything to just stop. Images of another place kept flashing before his eyes and that feeling of longing was eating him alive. It was as if he was missing the warmth of a star he never even touched. 

His mother was growing more and more tired, more and more desperate. After a couple of days of sleeping constantly, he decided to get out of bed and continue living his life. But his mother saw the dark circles under his eyes, his hunched shoulders, the sadness tearing him apart. She heard his heavy footsteps as if he was carrying the world on his back. Her beautiful boy wasn’t happy anymore. 

One day Jeremy had gone out with Laila and Alvarez. They had been drinking. This must have been the third bottle of alcohol they were going through and it was already ending. He almost felt like he could feel the pulse of the entire world. His head was buzzing, but in a good way. 

They were sitting in the steps of the temple. Not very respectful of them, but it was a nice and quiet place. He was thinking about that moment in the rain. Laila and Alvarez were laughing with something they said. 

“Don’t you sometimes think that is not all there is?” he asked. 

“I am fine with this, even if it is not all there is,” Alvarez said and looked at Laila. 

Their eyes were soft, their hands intertwined. Jeremy has noticed the looks they shared, the touches, the whispers, the little laughs. His heart ached. 

“Jeremy,” Laila said, “have you ever been in love?”

This question took him by surprise. “I don’t know,” he replied. “I have this feeling that maybe I have, but I don’t know with whom or when. It’s hard to explain.”

He thought about it for a while, but he couldn’t come up with a better answer. “Have you?” he asked. 

“Yes,” Alvarez said and laughed.

“Jeremy,” Laila said again, more serious this time. “Me and Alvarez are dating.”

Jeremy let out a small giggle. “Yes, I figured.” 

They both sighed, almost as if they had been holding their breaths this entire time. 

The next day he woke up with a terrible headache. He had seen a weird dream. Something about a boy writing letters to him. It was a Sunday, so he didn’t have to go to work. He was still on the bed when the girls came knocking at his door. Jeremy always wondered how they were that energetic so early in the morning. 

“Come on!” Alvarez said, pulling his arm. “Look at the sun. It’s the perfect day to go swimming!”

“I don’t swim,” Jeremy murmured, half asleep.

“Yes, you do!” Laila said. “Three years ago I was drowning in the river and you saved me so shut up and get up. We’re going swimming.”

Jeremy dragged himself out of the bed. He stared at them with the most evil look he could muster. They both were very stubborn. They let him change and gather his things and off they were to the beach. It was a good day indeed; the sea was calm and the sky clear. Jeremy preferred to go to the hills, eat and drink with the girls, play games, sleep under the stars. 

Laila and Alvarez left their bag on the shore and jumped into the water. Jeremy stayed at the beach, his feet barely touching the sea. He smiled. He loved his friends even if they sometimes were a pain in the ass. 

They quickly noticed he hadn’t dived into the sea and came looking for him. Laila got his arms and Alvarez his legs. No matter how much he protested, they threw him into the water. The salt burned his eyes and nostrils. He came out of the water gasping for air. 

“Not. Funny.” he said and attacked Laila. He pushed her and sunk her into the water and then he did the same to Alvarez. Laila came from behind and did the same to him. 

And then the colour of the sky changed. For a moment it turned red, a crimson, deep red, almost as if the sky was bleeding. Jeremy didn’t get a good look at it, because Laila was holding him underwater - but she wasn’t letting him go.  _ Something is wrong _ , he thought,  _ something is seriously wrong _ . 

He grabbed her hand and tried to get it off his chest, but her other hand found its way around his neck. He tried to shout and scream, but the water was muffling his voice, getting into his lungs, choking him. Soon, Alvarez’s hands found their way on top of him too. His chest was burning. His vision was becoming more and more blurry and shadows were creeping at the edge of his eyes. He closed them completely for a moment, just for a moment. 

Suddenly, he felt the weight getting lifted off his chest and someone pulling him up, out of the water. He opened his eyes to see a child in front of him. His back was turned towards Jeremy. His dark blue robe was floating in the water around him. Jeremy thought he was dreaming. 

The water around him was moving, gathering around the boy, creating some kind of swirl. It was slowly rising, circling him, as if he was controlling it. 

“Nice trick,” he heard someone shout. He looked past the child, to the shore. Someone was standing there. It was a man, his hair black, his eyes dark, a wolfish smile on his face. He had a tattoo on his left cheekbone.

Laila and Alvarez were lying behind him on the beach, unconscious. 

“No!” he shouted and tried to get to them, but the boy extended his hand and a wall of water rose in front of him. 

The man on the shore laughed. Jeremy had the faint idea that he had heard that laugh before. It wasn’t as cruel as someone would imagine. It was sweet, like honey. 

“Fuck off Riko,” the kid said and the man laughed again.

“Why would I do that?” he asked, “This is so much fun,” he said and started moving backwards. 

The boy started walking, closing the distance between them. Jeremy wasn’t sure what was happening exactly, but it felt way too real and something bad had happened to his friends. He could still feel their hands holding him down, but he was sure it wasn’t them. Laila and Alvarez would never do such a thing. 

He followed the child out of the water. It was absurd, all of this was absurd, he was hiding behind a little  _ boy  _ for fuck’s sake. 

The sky slowly turned dark. Black clouds gathered above their heads. Jeremy could hear the distant growl of a thunder. 

“I  _ said _ ,” the boy started again, “fuck. Off.”

“Nah,” the man replied. “I prefer to kill this pathetic human in front of your eyes. And then maybe kill you too.” 

The boy raised one of his hands and snapped his fingers. A lightning struck right next to the man. He didn’t even flinch.

“Oh, so now you can control the weather too, huh? Cute,” he said and then he extended both of his hands, his palms facing the earth. The ground below their feet shook and the vibration traveled through Jeremy’s whole body. 

Hands started growing out of the sand. Some of them were just bones and some of them were half rotten. Lightning was striking everywhere, scorching them. Jeremy wanted to throw up. 

He felt fingers wrap around his legs, their fingertips burning his skin. He fell down and the hands started dragging him away for the boy, close to the man. 

“Help!” he shouted, but his voice was weak as if someone had stolen all his words. 

“Fucking hell!” he heard the boy shout.

For a moment it was like time froze. If someone looked at them from afar, they would see; the sky, filled with heavy clouds, red creeping through the cracks, a boy, his mouth opening and a scream tearing the world around them, his hands extended towards the sky, calling for a storm, and a man, wearing an ugly smile, his robe flying behind him as he started running. Running towards Jeremy. 

And then everything happened at once. The boy started running towards him too, but he wasn’t fast enough. The hands were dragging him in the sand and Jeremy tried to grab something -  _ anything  _ \- and hold onto it, but the earth was sliding through his fingers. The man got to him first and grabbed one of his hands. 

“Say goodbye to this Land,” he said before the world around them vanished, swallowed by darkness. 

After a minute they were standing in the middle of a large palace. A place full of shadows. There were only a few windows around them and most of them were closed, red curtains blocking the sun. It looked almost like a prison. 

Jeremy was still on the ground. He turned around to find the man standing above him. He kneeled and grabbed him by the neck. Jeremy’s eyes widened. 

“Who are you?” he whispered, his voice shaking. 

“Oh, I think this will help you remember,” he replied and reached for his pocket. He took a little bottle out and unscrewed the lid. With his other hand he forced his mouth open and purred the black liquid inside. Jeremy choked. It burned his mouth and throat, he could feel it going all the way down to his stomach. And then, his head started hurting. It was a sharp pain, the worst one he had ever experienced, as if someone was cutting it open with an axe. 

He screamed and screamed and finally, as suddenly as the pain started, it stopped. And all his memories came rushing back. The realization dawned on him.

“You are Riko,” he whispered. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even I felt sad with this chapter, I'm sorry oof


	6. Chapter 6

Jean regretted taking Jeremy’s memories away. He regretted many things in his life, but this was eating him alive. He couldn’t stop thinking of Jeremy’s tears. He went to his mother and told her he was gone and he smiled as if he didn’t care one bit. He didn’t want to find out what would happen if his mother even suspected he cared. Jean was not raised to  _ care _ . 

He started writing letters, letters to Jeremy, letters he would never read. As Renee had said, he sometimes lived too much inside his head. He needed to somehow get it out of his system, before it became too much and he exploded. 

He started all his letters with  _ dear Jeremy _ or maybe  _ dear Remy _ sometimes because it reminded him of his time in Marseille, it reminded him of home. And he always ended his letters with  _ Jean _ because he was afraid to write anything else. 

Sometimes he wished he could send all these letters, but then he felt too embarrassed and vulnerable at the thought of someone seeing them.

_ Dear Jeremy _ , he wrote,

_ I miss you everyday. When you were here I did everything to avoid you during the day. How stupid of me. Now, I wish I had spent more time by your side. Because you made me smile and you told me stories and I loved the way you talked and moved and you were the only person who looked at me and didn’t see me as someone broken. I wish I could see me through your eyes. I think it would make me hate myself less.  _

_ Jean.  _

_ Dear Jeremy,  _ he wrote,

_ I want you to know that I remember. I remember what happened on the night I got poisoned. But, I am too much of a coward. I hope you know it wasn’t just the fever. I’ve been wanting to kiss you for a long time. A painfully long time. Maybe in another universe, things between us aren’t that complicated. Maybe in another universe we are happy.  _

_ Jean. _

_ Dear Remy,  _ he wrote _ , _

_ My letters are never too long, but after a while I get too sad and desperate and I have to stop writing. In my most wretched hours, I believe you will not come back. And yet my heart is buried with you in the strange soil of the mortal world. It was yours before and yours it shall forever remain.  _

_ Jean. _

_ Dear Jeremy,  _ he wrote,

_ I miss you like I miss the sun. I only go out at nights. The moon is nice, but cold, always very cold. Kevin and Renee are trying to make me talk about you. But I don’t want to talk about you to anyone. When you first arrived I was so angry at everyone and everything. But then I realized you are a good person and I hate myself even more for what I did to you. You didn’t deserve any of this. I’m sorry.  _

_ Jean. _

He was writing a letter almost every day. Jean was hiding them under his bed, in a small wooden box. He always placed it under Jeremy’s side. Kevin was worried about him. He had seen Jean go through so much pain. It reminded him of the time they were under Riko’s roof. He wished he could give Jeremy his memories back, but it was too dangerous and the truth was, he didn’t want to hurt Jeremy. He liked Jeremy. He had the ability - or the gift - of making people happy. The sun trapped inside a boy.

But Jean wasn’t getting any better as time passed. He barely went out anymore, he barely ate or slept. One day, he decided to go to the beach. Jean loved the water, he loved being surrounded by the peaceful sea. Although the suns were shining above him, he didn’t feel too weak. 

He closed his eyes and sunk into the sea. The world fell silent around him. A couple of colourful fish swimmed in front of him. The sea floor was filled with scallops and shells. He loved collecting them. In summers, Allison and Renee used to go to the beach with him and make earrings and necklaces from them. 

For the first time in three weeks, he realized he had stopped thinking about Jeremy. 

That was when the world went dark and the sky turned red. He had seen it happening before. 

“Oh no,” he whispered.

An image flashed before his eyes; it was Jeremy drowning, hands holding him underwater. He could see the eyes of the girls who were killing him. Their eyes - they were red, matching the sky. 

He didn’t have enough time to call for anyone else, ask for help. Jean had to move now or Jeremy would die and the thought of that made him want to drown. 

He opened a portal with his hand through the water, through their worlds. The next moment he was holding Jeremy’s body, pulling him out of the sea. The girls backed away. Their movements were mechanical; Riko was controlling them like puppets. 

Jean moved in front of Jeremy ready to protect him no matter what, ready to fight.

He let the rage and the energy flow through him. The water rose around him. He felt Jeremy moving behind him and blocked his way. No, Jeremy wasn’t going to die on him today, even if he didn’t remember him. 

Riko’s words rang inside of him. Jean hadn’t seen him for over five years. He hadn’t changed at all. Seeing him made Jean realise how much he wanted to kill him. Images flashed before his eyes again; memories of a dark place, of words that cut like knives, of  _ pain. _ He  _ was _ going to kill Riko. 

They both moved to the shore. He opened himself to the storm, to the electricity. 

Jean quickly realized Riko was also using his power, calling to everyone who had died unfairly, controlling them. Riko was good at controlling people, dead or alive. 

Jean started striking the hands coming out of the soil, but they were too many. He was  _ losing.  _ He heard a scream from behind and Jeremy passed next to him, hands dragging him away, towards Riko. 

He screamed. Everything he was feeling charged the storm and he was ready to unleash all of his power to Riko. He would drown, the water would fill his lungs and take away his voice and then he would strike him, burning whatever was left of him. But Riko did something unexpected. He started running towards Jeremy. 

Jean realised, too late once again, that Riko didn’t want to kill Jeremy  _ yet _ . He was going to take him back with him. Which was almost like killing him. Or maybe worse. Jean started running too, but Riko was faster. He touched the boy and they exited this world together. 

Jean fell to his knees and screamed. 

  
  


Deep down he knew, he knew he should have gone back to the Land and called for help. He should have gone to Kevin and Renee and Allison and Neil and Andrew. But he couldn’t stand the thought of Jeremy in Riko’s palace. He prefered dying there than letting the other boy suffer in that place. 

He briefly passed through his house and took Riko’s crown. He was hiding it under the wooden boards of the floor, in a dark box. As soon as he opened it, a strange smell filled the air. It was almost as if the crown itself was soaked with blood. 

Riko’s manor was not far outside the City, but no one traveled that way. The trees around that place were ill and rotting or dead. The sunlight didn’t seem to reach the forest or the palace. It was a huge, black building, full of sharp edges. The gate was made of iron and steel. The whole place was taken out of a nightmare.

The only good thing was that there was a small river nearby. Jean could use it later. 

All gates and doors opened before him. They probably somehow recognised the crown he was holding. They recognised him as their master. Riko was standing in the middle of the great hall, waiting for him to fall right into his trap. On his right hand there was a sword. Black, just like everything else he owned.

“Took you long enough,” Riko said. 

“Where is Jeremy?” Jean snarled. 

Riko laughed. He had this way of turning laughing and smiling into an awful thing. 

“I see you brought my crown back,” he said.

Jean sighed. He just wanted all this to be over. “I have an offer to make,” he finally said. 

“I’m all ears,” Riko replied. 

“I give you back your crown and you give me Jeremy,” Jean said. 

Riko laughed again. “You see, that would have worked five years ago, but I learnt to live without my crown. Besides I got this sword and it is so much better than a silly crown.” 

He had started moving towards Jean. As soon as he had stopped talking he waved his sword and attacked Jean. But the other boy knew him far too well. First rule of the Moriyama household; always be prepared to attack. He was already calling to the water, any form of water he could reach. There was a low noise coming from all around them, the same kind of noise one can hear when there’s an earthquake coming. Water came flooding through the windows and the doors. 

Jean avoided Riko’s attack with an elegant move and directed all of the water towards Riko. It hit him with such ferocity and threw him to the wall. Riko got up again without a scratch. But his expression had changed. He wasn’t laughing anymore. 

He extended his hand and Jean could hear the sound of someone being dragged on the floor coming from somewhere deeper in the house. Jeremy appeared, invisible hands dragging him towards Riko.

“Jeremy!” Jean shouted before he could stop himself.

But Jeremy didn’t seem to be able to move or speak. He was kneeling in front of Riko, looking at Jean. Riko slowly placed his sword in front of his throat. 

“No!” Jean shouted. “Don’t do that! I’ll - I’ll do whatever you want.”

At that moment Jean hated himself, he hated how Riko was controlling him again, how he once again was just a frightened, weak child. But the truth was, he would do anything for Jeremy. 

“Leave him alone,” he continued, “and I will come back to you.”

  
  


Jeremy couldn’t move. He had lost control of his body, but not his mind. This probably was more cruel. He could feel the cold blade touching his throat and Riko’s body touching his. He could see Jean, little Jean, watching him with dark eyes. 

In a sudden moment of clarity he realized the room wasn’t as dark as it used to be. All the windows were broken and weak rays of sunshine were touching his arm and the side of his face. He closed his eyes. 

And then he heard Jean speak again and the world tilted. The words were floating in the air and inside his head.  _ I will come back to you _ . He realized he had lost Jean once and he didn’t want to lose him again. 

But - something was wrong. Actually a lot of things were wrong, but on top of all that he couldn’t seem to focus. He couldn’t stop thinking of the sun.  _ The sun _ . It was burning his cheek now and his hand. His whole body felt off balance. His heart was on fire, melting, and he wanted to scream, but his lips were still sealed. 

And then he heard Riko say, “Oh, you are definitely coming with me, but this one is definitely dying.” He felt Riko move next to him, his hand ready to slice his throat. He closed his eyes tightly. The same thought kept circling around his mind;  _ I don’t want to die.  _ But as he was waiting for the blood to spill on the marble floor, he felt fire rushing through his veins and he heard a scream next to his ear. Jeremy opened his eyes to find Riko’s sword and hand on fire. It finally dawned at him that  _ he  _ had done  _ this. _

The fire was spreading and Riko was screaming and Jeremy’s blood was boiling. With a wave of his hand the fire went out. The smell of burnt fabric and flesh made him want to puke. Riko looked him in the eyes and tilted his head. Jeremy felt an invisible force throwing him on the wall. He hit his head and for a moment he lost focus. 

“Jeremy, watch out!” he heard Jean scream.

  
  


Everything happened too fast for Jean to react. Riko’s hand was over Jeremy’s throat, ready to kill him and he was too frightened to move. He wanted to look away  _ so badly _ , but at the same time he couldn’t. He saw Jeremy close his eyes and suddenly the room was filled with light. He heard Riko scream, he saw his sword and hand catching fire, he watched Jeremy putting it out and being thrown into the wall. 

And then he watched Riko move towards him and he noticed the forgotten sword moving. 

“Jeremy, watch out!” he shouted, moments before Riko’s half scorched hand pointed at the other boy and his sword quickly flew, pointed at Jeremy’s chest. 

But Jeremy was fast and the sword pierced the wall. He quickly got up and his hands started lighting up. Two small fire balls escaped his palms and hit Riko right in his chest. The blast threw him ten metres behind. 

For a moment everyone remained still. Riko was kneeling, breathing hard. 

“You will never beat me!” he screamed, shattering the silence. 

Once again he extended his hand and called for his sword. But before he could catch it, Jeremy started running towards him and jumped. Mid-air, he raised his right hand and a ray of light found its way through the broken window. The light gathered on his hand and it transformed into a sword. A golden sword, shining in the darkness.

He stabbed Riko’s chest with it, the blade coming out red from the other side. 

It was  _ beautiful. _

Jean suddenly felt his whole body change. Electricity ran through his veins. He looked at his hands. They were not the hands of a child anymore.  _ The curse was lifted. Riko was dead _ . 

He ran to Jeremy. The other boy was still looking at the sword, at his hand, at the body in front of him.  _ Riko was dead. He killed him. _

Jean cupped his face, both of his hands on his cheeks and forced him to look at him, away from what he had done. 

“It’s okay,” he said softly.

Jeremy’s eyes widened. “Jean,” he said, “how- but the sun-”

“The curse is broken,” Jean explained and then he added, “thank you,” his voice shaky.

“What is happening to me?” Jeremy whispered. 

“I don’t know,” Jean whispered back. “But it can’t be bad, because it’s you,” he said and kissed Jeremy. 

The kiss was slow and soft at first, but then Jeremy put his hands around Jean’s waist and back and pulled him closer. Jean’s hands travelled up his hair. 

“We need to get out of here,” Jean said, breaking the kiss. 

“Yes, we do,” Jeremy replied. 

They both started running, but as soon as they were out, Jeremy stopped. He murmured something and went back inside. When he reached Jean again, he was holding his sword. It really was beautiful. 

“What now?” he asked. 

“I think you are one of us now,” Jean replied. “I think you just became the god of sun.”

He noticed Jeremy’s hands were trembling. “Are you okay?” he asked.

“I- I just killed someone,” the other boy whispered. 

Jean sighed. He moved closer to him and got Jeremy’s hands into his. His gaze was focused on them. The hands that held the sun in them, the hands that killed Riko.

“We’ve all done bad things,” he started, “and we all learnt to live with it. He was going to kill us both. You  _ saved _ us, Jeremy. So,  _ please _ , don’t feel guilty about it. Because I know you would never hurt anyone.” 

He took a deep breath and continued. The time had come. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for erasing your memories, for causing you so much pain. I will never forgive myself.”

A couple of tears escaped his eyes. He looked at Jeremy and saw he was crying too. 

“I am not asking you to forgive me,” he continued. “I don’t want you to just forget everything and act like this never happened. But- if you want to at least try to forgive me, we can go back home and just live our goddamn life, because I’m so very tired of all of this. And Jeremy- I- I want you to know that I missed you like hell and I- I like you.”

Jeremy stayed silent for a moment, that felt like centuries to Jean. Then he wrapped his arms around him and hugged him tightly. He buried his head in the crook of Jean’s neck.

“I like you too,” he whispered.

  
  


After a couple of weeks, Jeremy found Jean’s letters under their bed. He opened the box with contained curiosity, not expecting to find dozens of letters directed to him. He felt guilty reading them, as if he had stumbled onto some forbidden knowledge. The words danced around the room. Some of the letters had spots, left by Jean’s dried tears. He spent all afternoon reading them and laughing and crying and falling in love with Jean more and more. 

After the night had fallen he decided to write a letter of his own. 

_ Dear Jean _ , he wrote,

_ I’ve been reading your letters. I know I wasn’t supposed to find them. I’m sorry. I’ve seen your pain through them and I know you hate it when people see you. But I love that part of you, just like I love every part of you. The way you smile when we go to the beach, the way you softly snort when you are sleeping, the way you enjoy the rain, the way you look at me. Sometimes I wake up after a nightmare and my whole body is shaking. But you are always there. Always comforting me, taking the pain away. I think I never told you, but most of my nightmares aren’t about killing Riko, but about losing you. _

_ I love you Jean. I know I haven’t said it till now, but I do. And I know you do too. But it’s okay, we don’t have to say it. We can just be two young gods, fooling around, living our lives under the sun.  _

_ Jeremy. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end! I really enjoyed writing this fic and I am proud of it. Thank you Deya, both for the art and the prompt. I hope I created something you liked. And thank you Ceriann. This fic would have been way worse without you. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this as much as I did! 
> 
> [Tumblr](ghoostangel.tumblr.com)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this! I really hoped you enjoyed it 🥰


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